I listened to a podcast recently in which the speaker, Dr. Gary Smalley, made a statement that grabbed my attention. “Conflict is not the problem; combat is.” 

  • How you deal with the situations of life will be the testing of genuine character.
  • Conflict, if dealt with properly leads to constructive bonding and growing.

I heard of a couple that used the term “growth opportunity” for challenging times in their relationship. This way of approaching life situations reveals the expected outcome – growth.

  • One of the primary causes of conflict is misunderstanding and miscommunication.
  • Each of us interpret situations through our own emotions, past experiences, perspectives, belief systems, personality, knowledge, and individual perceptions.
One kindergartener I teach is learning the letter “R” this week. For one of his art projects, we went outside and picked up some rocks. I took the opportunity to point out how each rock looked different and likened that fact to us as people.
Conflict is inevitable where there is two different people. Yet, it doesn’t have to lead to combat. What we need most in dealing with conflict is humility, the denial of “My Rights”. Humility will put us in the place where we can receive God’s abundant grace.


 “Yea, all of you be subject one to another , and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” 
I Peter 5:5